Making Kinky Silicone Paddles

How I almost became the Elon Musk of Esty… sort of (Well not really) 

Did I ever tell you about the time I tried to sell a load of silicone paddles on Etsy? 

No?

Well I’ll tell you now that it didn’t work out.

It went nowhere at all… but it was fun trying and I was introduced to an amazing kinky splinter group! Kinksters who make their own toys.

Let me take you back to a distant and bygone era… Let me take you all the way back to 2019.

How it all started

I found myself between jobs and had a spare few weeks. It wasn’t hard to notice that lots of homemade silicone dildos were popping up online. Floss pointed out that you never see homemade silicone paddles and yet there are plenty of silicone paddles available in sex shops and online sex toy retailers.

If you can make a silicone dildo then surely you could make a silicone paddle? If it was possible then we could make some fancy colours and unique designs.

If we had unique styles and designs then we could sell our wares on Etsy? 

This started to sound quite fun. The paddle to me always seemed to lack any element of design. Not that you need it, ultimately it’s for smacking a bum. They’re usually just a wooden or leather slab, which does the job well. 

We all like bespoke and unique kinky equipment. What if we could sell a whole range of these colours and designs? 

Some nice but simple paddles available from AliExpress

I hit the internet to find out about silicone moulding. It was easy to find some information; all you needed was one type of silicone to make the mould and another type to pour into that mould and make your desired product.

Great!

I’d have to find a way to make a one-off paddle, use that to leave an impression in the one type of silicone and then once that has dried use it to make the actual paddles to sell. 

Are you with me so far?

What was I going to make this sample paddle out of?

I went back online and did some more research. I found out that you can use a variety of materials to make the impression. Plastic, metal, wood or clay. These options didn’t really give me much inspiration when it came to the structural design. 

Then someone, somewhere, on some website said about 3D printing. 

I could design a paddle, 3D print it, use that to leave an impression in the first type of silicone, let it dry, remove the print, pour in the second type and make the paddle.

Wonderful… but I knew nothing about 3D printing. Nothing at all. There was one way I could learn. I got my arse on Amazon and bought a 3D printer.

It arrived and I set it all up. I really had no idea how you actually make something with it. Could this thing that was £200 from Amazon really make something solid and usable?

It was worth a try. I won’t bore you with the details of me learning how to use the 3D printer, I’ll just say that I followed numerous online guides, found some software, made a 3D model of a paddle and printed it out.

The first paddle was simple enough, a flat slab with little spikes on it.

This was the result…

Very first attempt… a bit shite but it was the start

I stuck the panel containing the spikes on top of the part in the picture above. (Sorry to say that I didn’t take a picture of that but you’re really not missing anything by not seeing it.)

I set up some cheap fake Lego as a kind of ‘bath’, poured in the silicone and left it overnight. In the morning I removed the Lego, and attempted to remove the paddle designed to leave the impression.

The first attempt at making the mould

Sort of worked. At least now I had a mould.

Then I poured in the silicone to make the actual paddle and once again, left it overnight. 

The first set back

I went back to it in the morning and the whole thing was a disgusting mess. 

With silicone, you get two pots, which you mix together before you leave for several hours to harden. Like a twat, I’d mixed one part of silicone for making the mould, with the other part for making the silicone product.

The result? You know toilet air fresheners? You know the ones inside a little plastic cage and you can see a blob of gel inside? Well imagine that blob but five times the size and coated with that jelly you get on spam? As in the processed meat that you’ve not eaten since you were ten.

That’s how I’d describe this horror show I’d created.

Worst of all, it had no rigidity. Spanking someone with this abomination would be like when you try and punch someone in a dream or try and run.

Just a floppy exertion of nothing.

I never took a photo. At least it didn’t smell. (It looked like it should)

Remember that jelly stuff that you got in Spam? Remember Spam?

I had to rethink all of this. Even if I did get the mix right, these paddles can’t be floppy.  No one likes a floppy paddle.

We had a shop-bought paddle that seemed to be made of a silicone substance. That was lovely and firm. 

Why was that one so hard and mine so floppy? (I could crowbar an awful joke in there… I won’t). 

Since we didn’t really use that paddle too often we cut it open to see if it gave us any answers as to how it stayed so firm.

Inside there was a thin strip of metal. Ok… our paddles just needed something inside to keep them stiff.

What could I use for that?

A new era

Then something else occurred to me

What if I was able to simply make the mould in the 3D printer? Forget the rip-off Lego and using a silicone mould. Just print out a mould and pour in the silicone? All I had to do was come up with a design and as long as the print was inverted then the paddle itself would come out the right way. 

Perfect!

Then I realised that the bed of the printer is 23cm by 23cm (9 inches), way too small for a paddle. 

Hold on, if I printed the mould diagonally then the length could be around 31cm (12.1 inches). I could do the mould for the handle separately and just tape the two moulds together to make one big mould. 

Even more perfect!

This time I was going to get it right.

I used Fusion360 (which is FREE to use) to design a new mould. This paddle would just feature the word ‘Slut’ but inverted. 

The idea was that when you spanked someone it would leave the word imprinted on the skin but the right way round. (Which isn’t that original as there are plenty of paddles that already have that but I needed to start somewhere.)

Printed the base. Fine. 

Printed the handle, also fine. 

Taped them together. Even more fine.

I was just about to pour in the silicone when I remembered the big floppy mess. These paddles needed something inside them to keep them hard. (Don’t worry, I won’t say “don’t we all”.)

I popped down to Wicks to find something. Went with a thick plastic strip.

I took a photo of a selection of rods yet didn’t take a photo of the floppy mess!

Got home, got my new ‘Slut’ mould, poured in the correct silicone this time, placed it in the rod and left it overnight.

The Result of Paddle No 1:

In the morning I removed the paddle from the mould. It was perfect. The silicone was nice and thick, the word ‘slut’ was bold and clear. 

It worked. It had actually worked.

I hadn’t used any dyes meaning this prototype was a clear colour but other than that, it was a decent little paddle.

Best of all, very spankable.

For some reason, I never took a photo of the ‘Slut’ paddle so please enjoy this beautiful scenery.

Let’s start a business selling silicone paddles!

Right… it works and the best thing is that no one else seems to be doing it!

The next stage was to create a range, I didn’t want to get on Etsy and just have one type of paddle.

Especially considering that the 3D printer gave us so many options. So I came up with three more designs, a little devil emoji, a vulva (yes, a vulva) and a blocky pixelated paddle, kind of like a Minecraft sword.

To make just the 3D models, I thought it would take me a day or two… it took THREE WEEKS!

It was so fiddly. The worst part was specifically the horns on the devil emoji, getting them symmetrical honestly took me three whole days.

I got there in the end and printed all three designs.

They were ready to go. The silicone was ready, the dye had arrived. I was ready to start the initial run.

One Minor Problem…

But something was irking me ever so slightly.

3D printing is done in very small layers all building up on top of each other. Anything you make is covered in these very fine lines.

I noticed from the ‘Slut’ paddle that the impression of these lines were left on the silicone. I wasn’t too satisfied with that. I wanted the paddles to have a smooth finish. 

They looked too home-made and amateur covered in little lines. Yes, they were home-made and amateur but I wanted them to look half-decent.

Close up you can see the lines really quite clearly.

I needed to do something about these lines.

Smoothing out the 3D prints

My next mission was smooth out the 3D prints. By now this project had been going on for several weeks, I wasn’t working and this was all starting to burn a bit of a hole in my pocket.

I was determined to make a tangible product and just see if this would all be worth it.

First I covered one of the 3D printed moulds in nail varnish. Awful. Just a bumpy mess. Binned it.

Then brought some stuff called XTC-3D, a type of gloss specifically for improving the finish on 3D prints. My senses were working overtime (get it?) once I found this existed. Tried it out, sort of worked but you could still see some of the lines. 

Then I bought a big glass dish, filled it with pure acetone and used a pair of tights to let the mould hover over a pool of the solvent. The idea being that the vapours would melt the surface slightly and smooth it out.

That was too effective and ended up melting most of the print. The poor little devil emojis face fell off! 

So I printed it out AGAIN. (You have to remember that this isn’t like printing from your little desktop ‘2D’ printer. These moulds took about 14 hours to print. Most nights had it running whilst I was sleeping beside it.)

Then I tried sandpaper.

That worked! I was able to smooth the moulds down. Fuck me it was hard work but it did smooth out the mould.

This was one of the moulds where the acetone had made the sides break off. I used it to test the sandpaper

Nothing could stop me now! I was ready to make the very first product.

Starting with the devil emoji. I had the mould for both the body and the handle all taped together. Got some purple dye, got the two parts of silicone and poured it all in. (Purple because that little emoji is purple.)

Kept it all in place with that rip-off Lego and left it overnight.

This was it!

The Result:

Woke up in the morning and checked the stopwatch on my phone. It had been 12 hours and should now be dry. I gently removed the new silicone paddle from the mould.

The very first thing I thought was… “Oh my god, we’re going to sell millions of these things”. 

I’d love to be able to say I thought that but… this thing was awful. It was just rubbish.

The purple dye was coming off in my hands. I went to slap it on my thigh but stopped before realising that purple blobs would splash everywhere.

Then I just flexed the end of this paddle and the internal plastic splint burst out! This thing couldn’t withstand one small test of its rigidity. How was it going to withstand a proper arse-beating? 

It wasn’t. It was shite.

And you could still see those fucking little lines! Even after the vigerous sanding.

I knew then that no one was going to buy these things.

It was time to bring the operation to a close and get a proper job.

What I learnt from all this:

On the face of it, it appears like one massive failure but the truth is. I loved it! I loved the whole process of playing with 3D modelling software; I loved 3D printing and loved playing around with the silicone.

Yeah, maybe I could’ve carried on and found a more resilient material. This whole experience taught me how fun it was to augment your kinky endeavours with your own homemade bits. 

The World of Kinky ‘Makes’:

I’m not the only one doing this.

Through all this, I discovered ‘Deviant Designs’. A couple who design and make their own intricate, kinky devices then stick the videos up on PornHub.

I can’t do their creativity and ingenuity justice here so please take a look at their videos.

I also discovered SexMachineReviews

Joanne, the brains behind the operation, makes her own electrodes for use with electrical stimming devices.

She very generously gives you the option to download them for free and print them out yourself. You can also buy the electrode from the site if you don’t have a 3D printer.

That’s actually a small part of her site. She offers LOADS of great advice about stimming and gives honest and objective reviews on a variety of sex toys.

If you want to know more about the universe-imploding orgasms you can get from electro-play then head over to Joanne’s site right now!

Know of any good blogs/YouTube channels where they make their own kinky bits?

I’d be certain in saying that there are many I’m yet to discover so if you know any please email me… hello at the name of this website. (Again, can’t spell it out due to spam bots!)

Back in the Podcast days I did a whole solo-episode about 3D printing which you’ll find here.

Fast-forward to the year 2020:

With “you-know-what” happening in 2020, the idea of 3D printing any kinky bits was far from my mind and it had been a good while since I’d used the printer.

I really could do with the money so I sold it to a chap on GumTree.

Once he turned up we were talking and he said how much he loved 3D printing and was buying this as a second one so he could print even more stuff. 

He asked me why I’d bought a 3D printer in the first place. I didn’t really want to say that I was making kinky paddles so I just blurted out… 

Oh I used it to make some moulds for silicone toys that I was going to sell on Etsy. 

How did that go?” He asked.

Well it didn’t really work out because the prints kept leaving those fine lines in the silicone.” I decried. 

You should’ve used a resin printer. Then you don’t get those lines.”  

Oh…” 

Wish knew that back in 2019! Thanks GumTree man!

One more thing quick…

This blog isn’t just about failed business ideas, it is actually about kink. If you’d like to find out about how to meet a kinky partner then please visit this post here

Thanks for reading!